Nothing Funny Here..

Call me an old grouch but comedian Amy Schumer’s movie Trainwreck isn’t funny. There’s nothing funny about a woman self-sabatoging her life… The audience thought it was hilarious when she described the best sex she ever had was with a guy now doing time in prison but… Who needs a well off neuro-surgeon in their lives when you can be with scum?

Nothing makes you feel at peace with your life as waking up next to some guy after a black out. Maybe my idea of funny is off but that isn’t my idea of funny… Don’t get me wrong, she played the part well of a “hot mess” going about her life… I’ve seen the results of what happens when a train totally comes off its tracks, it isn’t pretty… You know nothing says good times as vomit and convulsions followed by tales of all the men they had been with. I’m sure her bruises have healed by now and he’s changed his ways. 

If you want to laugh at someone else’s sorrow, go right ahead. The Germans have a word for it: schadenfreude. Imagine if we actually paid to watch someone destroy their life? I’m sure Amy’s character lands up just fine. There’s a Hollywood ending as there is with every Trainwreck and Hot Mess…This too will pass.

Right Out of Left Field..

Everything happens for a reason… 

 I had just returned from getting a haircut and going to the bank when my short term neighbor came up to me and said, “Excuse me. Your cat sprayed all over our tent!” I responded, “That’s not good.” Rather than say, prove it. I defused the bomb. I replied, “What a bad cat and there are four other bad cats in this zone of the campsite.” 

Quickly I called Toonce’s pet hospital and whisked him for an all paid 10 night stay where he can cool his paws. How things change on a moments notice. As I returned back I gave my irate next door neighbor a spray bottle of Natures Miracle and a five door Starbucks gift card someone gave me… This too will pass

Toonce Will Watch The Place…

Toonce is having issues with me leaving for New York tonight and he’s showing it in his own way. I did my laundry yesterday and what did he do the second I placed the laundry basket of clean clothes down on the counter? He jumped up into it and fell fast asleep. On the face of it, it doesn’t look like a protest but you must remember he’s a smart cat. You’ve heard of cats sensing their caretakers are about to leave on trips so they sleep inside the suitcase. I believe he senses something is about to happen but he can’t quite put his paw on it. I travel light with a small hand held bag, so Toonce did the next best thing he could.

I’ve lined up my former housekeeper to cat sit and she and him get along well. No need to worry if he will go hungry, he won’t. I bought plenty of his favorite yums and cat crunchies. Toonce will keep watch of the place and hopefully will be there to greet me when I finally make it home. He’s not just my cat, he’s my friend. This too will pass.

Delta Is Ready When You Are..

At 10:55pm, I intend to depart SFO and five hours later land at JFK International Airport outside of New York City. I bought the first class ticket on Delta a few days after I returned from my last trip back East. Since then, the Delta App has reminded me that in so many days I could log onto their new and improved app and check in. The days counted down till last night when I heard my phone binged and the message stated, ” It’s time! Press here to check in for your Delta Flight 2521.” I excitedly pressed the button and for twenty seconds the little spinning wheel went around and around. 

“We’re sorry. It seems we are having troubles with our site. Try back later!” I laughed out loud and said, “I like the traditional way of checking in.” It’s called human contact. You walk up to the counter and a smiling ticket agent greets you, after everything is done, they then wish you a nice trip. It might be debatable as to whether they are programmed to say it but at least they say it. 

I now have a TSA Known Flier Number which hopefully will speed me thru the screening procedures, and it really doesn’t matter for I find the screening procedures. Well wish me luck. I return next Sunday… This too will pass.

I Did Just One Job Yesterday…

The second I walked into work yesterday I was told, “Some guy from out of the area needs help. It’s on one of those roads in The Berkeley Hills. Be safe. I don’t want to hear you had an accident. Our accident numbers are off the chart.” Following that “Don’t have an accident speech” I looked on Google Maps and found exactly where I was heading to, the most narrow road of The East Bay.

The road was indeed narrow and zig-zagged for a mile until there he was, a tech Who looked familiar from San Francisco. He knew my name but I had to check out his ID badge on the sly to say, “Hey Gabe. How did you land up here?” He told me his story about him being laid off and then rehired in San Jose and then was transferred….” The truth is, I believe I helped him when I was an union steward but other than that, I really didn’t know him…

After exchanging war stories, we began to replace the 100 pair cable that had been knocked down by a fallen tree. Our construction linesmen had restrung the cable and we needed to splice it back together, the problem was the splice point was 60 feet above the steep poison oak filled canyon. I boomed out and had to lean out from my bucket all day and into the dusk… His job was to direct traffic around my precariously positioned truck… Well that’s what I did for my 8 hours… This too will pass.

Following and Unfollowing…

I have decided to press the unfollow button on those who never quite have the time to check out my corner of this site… I understand if you are busy and have a life outside of WordPress but common on folks, it’s a two way street. I go out of my way to read daily people’s posts that I follow and not just hit the like button. 

Another thing that grinds my gears; people who want us to buy their book or let us know their latest book is coming out. I find people who write out of love for writing way more interesting than those who announce, “My editor says my latest book is great!” If it was a bad book would someone say, “My editor says I should keep my day job…” 

I thought we came to this site because we are creative souls who need a place to express our inner thoughts. One person I follow has disabled the like and comment button, now to me, that is a true writer. Are these harsh words, yeah but you want real don’t you? This too will pass

A Missing Girl and Free Will…

In Santa Cruz California, a missing eight year old girl was found dead and discarded in a garbage bin at her mother’s living complex. A 15 year old boy has been arrested and will be charged with her murder. The District Attorney is deciding whether to charge the teen as an adult… It seems he lived in the same building as the little girl and she was often seen with him.

Here’s what got me and maybe it was just a bad choice of words by the police spokesman. “The victim was known to go to his apartment under her own free will.” I don’t believe an eight year old girl is capable of doing anything with free will. I was eight years old when I was being sodomized by adults. I don’t believe I had free will, I was a child… This too will pass…

Out of The Blue…

“The Richmond San Rafael Bridge is closed. Your alternates are Highway 37 or The Golden Gate Bridge.” Which way do you think I headed for knowing my extreme love for San Francisco? That’s right, The Bridge… I’ve decided I need to end my career with The World’s Largest Telecommunication Company where I started it. I will some way make it back to The City I live so much…  

   
As I drove down the new Doyle Drive Parkway I said to myself, “Throw a tantrum if you must but get back to The City by The Bay.” I’ll walk into my supervisor’s office and fall on the ground and scream, “I don’t want to work in Oakland anymore!” God how I love the lack of parking and the crowds in San Francisco, not those New York City crowds but crowds of people going about their lives…

I came out of the Broadway Tunnel and smelled the distinct aromas of Chinatown with its smells of weird veggies mixed with eel, seal or beagle butcher shops. I pulled over to write this and I must end it before this parking enforcement person slaps me with a ticket… This too will pass.

Man It Was Hot Yesterday…

My old company truck has no air-conditioning what’s so ever, in fact I believe the heater stays on for some reason. On these hot days, I dread being sent to Walnut Creek or Concord where temperatures are thirty degrees higher than Oaktown (Oakland). Guess where they sent me yesterday? Pleasant Hill, it has to be the hottest area in The Bay Area. 

What’s that they say about, “I cried because I was sitting in a hot truck and complained about my shoes; and then I saw a panhandler sitting in the hot sun with no feet.” I was about to make a left turn on to Gregory Road when there he was, a man sitting in the broiling sun sitting on an overturned five gallon bucket. I don’t keep money nor change on me but I did have a cold bottle of water to give. He wolved it down before the light had changed. He called out to me, “Life is good man!”

As I continued on my way, I thought to myself, “There’s a guy with no feet and sitting in the hot mid-day sun with no shade and he said his life was good. Man up Juan!” The rest of the day I went about my work with a different point of view… This too will pass…