Doomed…

I don’t like falling living trees but this 60 foot oak was already dying prior to me starting the saw. See that slightly black spot in the center of that trunk. That’s the start of black oak death and within a year this tree would be dead, dry and dangerous.

Tree experts say that the culprit is a mold on the leafs of bay trees. It somehow infects the oaks and it spreads like wildfire once it does. Some people like to garden, I enjoy clearing underbrush. Maybe I was a fire jumper in some past life, I doubt it but it sound cool. California is a tinder box dry ready to light and clearing dry underbrush is a good idea, it’s all about defendable space should a fire happen… Off to play! This too will pass

Important Mail…

Mr. Ufu Cheese sent me an e-mail reading, “Sir! I know Arab women who want to date you!” I would have taken him up on his offer but like with all the other junk mail, it landed up in my spam file. Mr. Sinus Infect also sent me a important invitation stating, “Your American Xpress gift card for dollars 100 is awaiting me and all you need to do is supply me with a little required information.” The problem was it was a limited time offer and again it landed in my spam…

As with a lot of men my age, things don’t work well anymore but a Doctor Dirti Bandage (I swear that’s his name) was willing to send me a bottle of his pills that would help me on that front. For the reasonable cost of dollars 60,I could be the man I once was. Imagine his incredible giving heart and for just a easy made out cashier’s check payable to him, amazing!

Mr. Spring Dai of Lagos Nigeria evidentially is an expert in money matters and he’s looking for “Money Dumbies” like me to make 1,243 dollars and 20 cents. Wait, I know you think something might be fishy but he says I will get every last penny coming to me or deserve. Once again, he too needs some banking information where he could wire my money to.  I don’t think I’m going to take him up on his offer, I don’t like to be called a Money Dummy! This too will pass

Murder Most Foul…

A woman in Michigan got into an arguement with her husband over household money issues and somehow he ended up dead. The news reports stated she’d been gambling and that’s what led to the money issues in the family. I don’t know the details of the how’s and when’s but he ended up kaput… The police did find a witness and he’ll most likely be brought into court.

The district attorney might not be so sure the witnesses testimony will hold up in court. Wait, a eyewitness sees a murder happen and the D.A has qualms about putting him on the stand?Here’s the problem, when the witness takes the stand, the bailiff might need to put newspaper down before he shows up. The eyewitness was a parrot. Evidentially it saw the murder take place and it copied the dying man’s last words. 

In this day and age of nanny cams and home monitoring, the thing that might convict this woman is a creature that likes peanuts and bits of fruit… That’s unbelievable. This too will pass

Now I’m Tired…

Thank goodness I skipped doing my Firewood Yoga this morning. Maybe I had a feeling today’s work would leave me totally worn out. I arrived at the half built 200 unit apartment complex. The irate foreman’s proceeded to tell me how our bumbling linesmen showed up this morning to place a 100 pair cable in the four inch duct but they had knocked out his service in doing so…
The problem was they had used a temporary cable as a pull rope rather than taking the time to place a new rope thru the duct. That knocked the customer out and my job was to get them back in temporally. At one point, I gave up trying to use my little fish and called for a bigger fish. The problem with the above monster is it can’t make tight turns… 

My supervisor assisted me even though he shouldn’t be touching  tools but at that point I was tired and physically spent. An hour later after many attempts we pulled out the new cable and tied a rope onto it. Finally after manhandling it back thru the four inch duct we had our small wire in place. Now my back is sore and I’m beyond spent with one more job to finish… This too will pass

Morons…

Sonoma played host to NASCAR racing at Infinion Raceway this past weekend. It came the usual gridlock traffic that comes with 70,000 racing fans showing up. It was reported in The Press Democrat that two men were arrested after they had had too many beers. Well having a few too many beers isn’t against the law, I know. The problem was, they both happened to get into two separate accidents on raceway property. One guy managed to smash into an utility pole with his personal golf cart and the other dingus drove his pickup over an embankment and into a picnic area but wait there’s more..

Some of the thousands of motor homes were proudly flying racing team flags of all sorts. Nothing says loyalty like flying your team’s  proud colors, three beer filled men didn’t like the colors one RV was flying. They confronted the owner and it was on, seems the man they confronted was a former SEAL who  really enjoyed fighting. The trio found themselves on the short end of the stick and on the ground… Arrests were made and bail was set.

On Saturday evening, I walked into my usual Quikie Mart at the bottom of the hill to pick up my tub of cottage cheese when a group of drunk racing fans came in the store. They made their way to the beer display and grabbed as many cases as they could carry. They had driven a good five miles from the raceway to get to the store and guess what the four of them forgot to bring? Their wallets and purses, they had no money to their names. Morons… This too will pass

Okay I’m Freaked Out…

Toonce was waiting for me as usual on the roof of the RV though I had left the side door open for his feline comfort. It should be noted that Mr. Toonce had customized it with his claws as to slice a makeshift cat door in the screen material. “How was your day Tooncie? Hot, I know.” He meowed, “I’m hungry.” I walked in and immediately fed his highness and placed season five of Breaking Bad in the DVD player. 

At some point I said, “Well that’s it for me. I’m laying down.” I turned off the TV and closed my eyes. I started hearing an unusual fluttering sound , as if a bird was trapped in the RV. The noise would stop and start again. “Not another bat!” I said to Toonce. He meowed his concerns. I got up and looked for the guest. That’s when I turned around and saw this flying bug with massive antenna and wings on the ceiling, I let out a high pitch scream. Alright I don’t like bugs…

I regained my composure and said to the uninvited guest, “I haven’t a clue what you are but you need to go!” I grabbed the empty Fancy Feast box and carefully escorted the silver dollar sized bug into the box. Moments later he was on the outside looking in and I laid down… Toonce then wanted in and I said, “If you brought that thing in, please don’t. You know bugs freak me out.” Toonce smiled… This too will pass

Jesse James aka. Chris Guerra…

I was sent this photo this morning and for a moment I thought my son had taken one of those carnival photos where you dress up in 19th century clothes. Then I realized that was the outlaw Jesse James and the man who ended up killing Jesse James. It turns out that Bob Ford was later killed by a man who later went by, “The man who shot the man who shot Jesse James.” Life was tough back then…

Alright I’ll show you a photo of Chris, there he is in all his glory and no he doesn’t smile when he has his picture taken. He had turned out to be a great dad and I’m proud of him. Yes he has a tough exterior but he’s truly a good man and I can’t wait to see him in 32 days. This too will pass

Money Woes for You and Me…

My stocks have taken a tumble after the vote on the other side of the pond to leave the European Union. Most of the uninformed British voters thought leaving the EU would prevent terrorists from entering their country as has happened in France lately, little did they know that leaving the EU would cause a major upset in their economy. The Pound has fallen over the last few days and if you have any investments associated with Royal British Empire, well you’re screwed for a while. Friday’s fall here of 610 points was pretty serious and today’s continued downward plunge of 242 point doesn’t sound good.

It sounds foolish but I put a lot of money in oil company stock and right now it’s barely floating but there are two things people need and that’s H2O and C8H18 for their cars. Financially well off people have gone out and bought Teslas and other electric cars but for the most part these cars have been priced out of the range of a middle-class household, as if there is a middle-class. The day when gas goes for 50 cents and they give Blue Chip Stamps again if you fill up your tank, then and only then will I worry about my stock picks. In a few minutes Rob and I will drive 45 miles thru heavy mid-day California traffic to work. People in California won’t give up their cars as much as environmentalists want us to.

Finally closer to home, The World’s Biggest Telecommunications Company is about to offer 500,000 megs on two pairs of wires in California. Think about that number, a half a million bits of information on copper. For quite some time management has been telling us that a few fiber strands can do the work of thousands of pairs of wires. Sure they are placing fiber everywhere to keep up with Google’s attempt to takeover the data market but it looks like copper will be around for a while. So you might be asking how The EU, the price of gas and data relates together? The State of California is ranked 8th in the world’s economy and England is holding at number 4. Who knows where we’ll be when this whole EU thing shakes out? Long live copper, my old company truck’s need for petrol and long live The Queen! This too will pass

 

 

3:01am Without Fail…

Toonce usually wakes up at this early hour and demands to either be let out or be fed, this morning was no different. The camel had just advised me not to take any of the money the ATM had spewed out and I hear Toonce scratching at the door. He was getting more persistent with every claw drag on my shredded screen RV door. I softly yelled out, “Okay! I hear you! Can you wait a few seconds more?”

He meowed, “When a cat’s got to go, he’s got to go!” I stood at the door while he went. “Okay. Come back in Mr. Toonce, that mountain lion might be out there still!” Of course he took his time but with one hop he was back inside and hungry. “Oh you want some yums huh?” He meowed, “I’m standing near my bowls. What do you think?” I opened a can and plopped it in his bowl. “There ya go. Now I’m laying down. I’m tired.”

No sooner as I had gotten comfortable I hear, “Meow.” I called out, “Please. Have you no mercy? I’ll get up but this is the last time.” It wasn’t the last time… No, last night was a night which could try a man’s love for his cat. Note to self: look into buying a cat door… This too will pass