I Knew It Was Coming…

Right when things had settled down with my son Matt, a summer firestorm has taken off and now he’s in real trouble. I hadn’t heard from him in days and yesterday I began to become concerned. His daily “How ya doing dad” calls with a request for a twenty here and there had suddenly stopped. This morning I called his mother to see if she had heard from him, she had alright. He was asked to leave his clean and sober house on Sunday due to an outburst where he punched a few holes in their walls. I knew this place wasn’t the right place for him because they hadn’t insisted on medicating him; besides having addiction issues he had a treatable personality disorder. This is a nightmare…

Once again he’s back on the streets and this time I have to turn my back on him. If I get a call from a 619 or 858 area code, I just won’t answer it. Terrible I know but if I do give him money, he’ll just buy beer or drugs with it. No more money until he decides to get whole because to tell you the truth, I’m tired of his constant lies and stories. I don’t know what he told his mother but he didn’t follow the rules of the house and he now is going to be walking the streets of San Diego. I’ve learned one thing, I can’t trust him because he’ll tell me anything to get what he wants. I love Matt and I care what happens to him but over and over he just messes up.

I don’t know how many times he’s said, “Dad I drink beer!” (as if that’s better than drinking hard liquor or wine) He’s a 29 year old alcoholic who in all likelihood thinks he’s doing just fine. Matt does whatever he does and somehow it’s always his mother’s or my fault. My response is, “Please take some accountability for your actions.” Thank goodness my father isn’t alive to see what’s happening to his grandson. He would have said, “Matthew is nothing but a borracho (drunk) and it’s your fault.” Matt’s brother want nothing to do with him and Tashi at least compassion for him but can only say, “Poor Matthew!” Once again I must prepare myself for the news that will come, “This is the San Diego Sheriff…” With Matt’s angry outbursts back, now there are only two places he’s going to end up in, jail or the morgue… This too will pass

14 thoughts on “I Knew It Was Coming…

  1. I know how you feel and I don’t know what to tell you. I know how difficult it is. When my son was still around, we used to tell him there’s only hospital, jail or morgue for you to go if you don’t stop your drinking. When drunk driving took his life, I never realized I could have told him and give him another option which is recovery. I do not know if it would be different and I do not even know if he would recover. Hugs and prayers for you and your family. I would love to send you a copy of the book I have written about alcoholism after we lost our son three years ago.

    Liked by 3 people

  2. I can only send the e book by you email. What is you email add? The paperback copy is not yet available, if Gods willing by next month it will be. But you can read the e book version now on your email.


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