Can You Buy Me A Pack…

Matt is truly ill and it hurts beyond belief to see him in pain yet he hasn’t a clue he’s even sick. I have so much hate in my heart, not for my son but for my son’s debilitating disease. Schizophrenia is a real nightmare and it kills me knowing that unless he gets on meds, he’s doomed to a life of existing.

This evening he asked, “Hey dad, could you buy me a pack of cigarettes?” What could I say? “No son. Smoking will kill you.” Right now he hasn’t a clue that in two days, he’ll be back on the streets and he’ll be sleeping by the creek that runs thru San Diego. If ciararettes provide a little bit of comfort then I’d buy him a crate.

Tomorrow morning we head to the DMV to get him an ID and then to the bank to get him a replacement debit card. I know he’ll lose both in the coming days but what can I do other than help him. Even if he loses them, he knows he’s loved and I cared about. The thing is, he’s still a loving soul caged in a sick mind. This too will pass

2 thoughts on “Can You Buy Me A Pack…

  1. Schizophrenia is very hard to nurse but you have it down. You cherish the good times and accept the bad. Thank you for being a good dad to your son. Thank you for loving him.

    I know you don’t need my thanks but I do know how difficult Schizophrenia is. They cannot stay in hospitals after the hospital gets them on their meds. As long as people with Schizophrenia stay one their meds, life is good but they don’t like their meds because they feel different on them. So it is up to families to help them but when they aren’t on meds, they can be too difficult to help. So, they most often they end up on the streets.

    I read this post after the following one so I may repeat myself. My uncle is Schizophrenic and when my mother could no longer help him, his children found a residential home. It is boring for him because all he has to do is watch television but they see that he stays on his meds, is clean and comfortable. My mom says he is doing well and that they are kind to him. I do not blame my cousins for placing him at this home because I have seen first hand how difficult things can be with him. He is not on the streets.

    One good day can make up for a lot of bad days.🍀


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