Lead Us From The Unreal to The Real…

Seeing Matt the way he is, quite frankly, it’s tearing me into a million shreds. We stopped for gas yesterday and there crossing the street was another shell of a person. The usual stuff; talking to herself, filthy and lost in her mind. It sounds terrible but if she had a terminal disease she would at least get a hug from people not shunned. We all do it,  we tend to run from seriously mentally ill souls…

I’m not saying having cancer is any better but at least people seem to have compassion when a person with stage four cancer in near. My son is a good person dealt a bad hand of cards yet he tries to extend kind words to strangers, even though sometimes he inappropriately says the wrong thing, his heart is in the right place. 
Maybe his reality is somehow better than my reality. Though he is teetering on life’s edge, he has a spiritually quality I love. Most sick people say they talk to Jesus, Matt tries to follow Christ’s teachings. While we were waiting in the DMV line, a man followed up right behind us. When Matt overheard the man telling someone on the phone of the length of the cue, Matt offered his place as to help the man. The man declined. This too will pass

7 thoughts on “Lead Us From The Unreal to The Real…

  1. You have an awesome son. I am experiencing the sadness of witnessing mental illness at this time. My landlord has Bi-Polar Disorder and recently tried to take his life. He is alive and in long term treatment and a modicum of being better but his family wonders if he will ever rally.

    Mental Illness can be so hard for the rest of us that often the mentally ill become throw aways. It isn’t easy not to feel anger or hurt at their behaviors and most all patience. Your son is so lucky to have you for a father and friend. Kudos though I know you aren’t looking for them. Though I have treated my Schizophrenic uncle with kindness, I have distanced myself due to my lack of patience. How sad that I have helped others through my work on Crisis Hotline but turn my back on my own uncle. My mother never has until she aged and was less able to care for him. She is 82 and now my stepfather has the beginnings of dementia. Her friends and neighbors are stepping up to help her and I am so grateful since I live far away.

    Thank you for this uplifting post though you may not see it that way. It is nice to know that your son is doing what he can to show kindness to others. It may seem like a little thing but it is huge for him. Also, your love for your son is heartwarming. 😻

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Sorry, I am just catching up on your posts about your son. I also know what it is like to love someone cursed with addiction. What I know is “Detach with Love”. You are doing the right thing as hard as it is. Enabling kills. We are going though this with our daughter so you are not alone

    Liked by 1 person

    • What a nightmare… How old is she? I hope you too can find a balance helping her. You are a good person… I’m doing this so if I do get that call no parent wants, I can at least not feel as if I could have done more, sounds selfish but I would feel real bad if I didn’t to enough…

      Liked by 1 person

      • I know the feeling. We have tried in every way to help her but she plays at getting clean to make her family think she is doing better. I still have hope because there is always hope but I don’t count on it. She has lost custody of her two sons which totally breaks my heart but their dads are not keeping them from us. Tough love is tough but my husband is like you and I am learning from him. He will never withhold food from her but our days of giving her money are over. We have never bailed her out of jail. When she calls, he listens and offers his guidance on the struggle through addiction based on his experience as a recovering addict. Whether she listens and learns from him is up to her. He experiences anger and frustration but detaches with love.

        When our son ended up in Federal Prison caught up in drug and gun dealing, my husband and my stepson’s mother stood by him in court and visited him in jail but did not pay bail or for an attorney.

        The day he was sentenced to Federal Prison, his family and extended family was in the courtroom. There was no sadness when he was sentenced, there was relief that his life had just been saved because had he gone on, he would have surely been killed. We sent him money for food and clothing and visited him every two weeks. We took his phone calls also and offered support and encouragement. He did everything he could to make more of himself while in prison. When he got out, he was ready for marriage and a family. He met a girl who was younger. He was less mature than he would have been had he been outside the prison walls to experience normal life. It worked out for them and they are very happy. He is a really good husband and father and has a good job. Luckily, he picked up a good work ethic from his dad.

        There is always hope.


      • It’s like a nightmare you never can wake up from… He was up all night and now he’s snoring away… They say you need to sleep during the day so as not to get mugged at night…

        Liked by 1 person

      • Life on the streets is so scary I would think. I volunteered for runaway hotline and suggested places like post offices that were unlocked all night but not advisable for adults.

        Liked by 1 person

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