When you lose someone you care about and love, the mind tries to numb itself of the pain. Tooncie was my cat, he was my friend and I loved him. I must say after I got back from New Jersey, I had no desire to go back to The Firewood Temple. Thankfully, it has stopped raining for now and living in the RV seems much more bearable.
I know this sounds like magical thinking but maybe the Cosmic Consciousness is giving me what I so desperately need by giving me unlimited overtime. I’ve spend only sleeping hours there and since January I’ve worked a minimum of 11 hours everyday. We were told this morning that this will end in late March just as I head back to New Jersey…
After having Toonce die in my arm, I was wiped out and if I had been a drinker, I’d be on a black out binge or maybe take enough Xanax to make my eyes go unfocused. I’m working endless of overtime hours. Yesterday morning, I officially went into double time and that will last until I finish my shift on Saturday Night.
This morning, I picked up Tooncie’s Tupperware water bowl and threw it into the garbage. Next will be his kibble bowl and unused litter box. I say to myself, “You have to toughen up Señor Buttercup!” I turn sixty in a few days and after all these years, I never grieved for anyone like I did Mr. Tooncie Booncies… This too will pass