I’ve scheduled an Uber ride at 4am tomorrow morning and hopefully they show up. It’s about a 60 minute ride to JFK from Clifton New Jersey. Let’s review the past 9 days. Day one thru day six I was barely hanging on and my mouth and throat felt as if I had swallowed a boiling hot piece of pizza. A trip to an urgent care storefront and a pharmacy got me a bottle of disgusting banana flavor liquid medicine and wishes of better health.
Thinking that would solve my illness, I took it religiously 5 times a day as directed. Yes it did its job. It turned my mouth from a weird yellow to a gross black. Unfortunately it didn’t help my mouth full of cold sores and pain. On the plus side, I lost tons of weight because quite frankly, I couldn’t eat anything without extreme pain. A gulp of room temperature water had me wincing in pain and it was only yesterday that I ate something without having a tear in my eye.
There were days I just wanted to lay in this bed without hearing, “Why did you even come here if you weren’t going to play with Hunter.” Here’s the truth, Hunter doesn’t know me let alone who mom and dad are or his name.” Please don’t get me wrong, I love the little boy but he is lost in his mind. Chris says that ever since he was given a vaccination a while back he became this way. I tend to agree with him but I’m no child development expert.
Yes, tonight when I say goodnight to them, that will be it for me. I don’t know when I will return. I just want peace in my life and I really don’t need people telling me I’m “less than.” You might think I’m mean but Chris has signed up for a heavy load now with the next baby showing up in December, it will only get tougher. I raised three sons but I had a good paying job, he works at a Petco. The other day I told him, “When Elena starts talking bad about me (as she does that). You tell her I did more for her than her jail bird father and her absent mother have ever done for her.” He replied, “I already have…” This too will pass